Why I Stopped Counting the Days Since I Last Watched Porn
- Jan 20
- 3 min read
Updated: Feb 23
How can we truly be free and live in the present moment or look forward to the future if we keep looking behind us?
This is a question I asked myself as I realized how much I had been obsessing over the number of days since my last relapse. For a long time, I believed my progress was defined by how many days I’d gone without watching porn or indulging in any other harmful habits. But over time, I learned an important truth: counting the days isn’t what matters most.
What really matters is the strength we build every time we say “no.” Each refusal creates new neural pathways, rewires our brain, and empowers us. These moments of choice, when we resist temptation, are the real milestones of recovery. They’re the moments that strengthen our minds and help us reclaim our power.
The Problem with Counting Days
When we focus on counting days, we reduce our identity and progress to a number. We tell ourselves that success is defined by hitting 30, 60, or 100 days. But what happens when we fail?
For many of us, relapsing feels like losing everything we worked so hard for. We spiral into frustration, shame, and often—binging.
That’s exactly what happened to me.
At one point, I was approaching the 10-month mark without watching porn. As I got closer to hitting a year, the pressure mounted. I couldn’t stop thinking, What if I fail? What if I can’t make it to a year? That anxiety consumed me, and eventually, I gave in. My relapse turned into a two-day binge session. I was devastated, thinking I had erased all the progress I had made.
But here’s what I learned: those 10 months weren’t wasted. Every time I said “no” to porn during that period, I grew stronger. My relapse didn’t undo the progress I made; it didn’t erase the resilience I had built.
Counting the Moments That Matter
After that experience, I stopped counting the days and started focusing on the moments that mattered. Those moments, when temptation roars and everything in you wants to give in, are the ones that define us.
It’s easy to string together a few days or weeks without porn if you’re relying on sheer willpower. But the real breakthroughs happen in those moments of weakness, when you feel like you have nothing left to give—and yet, you whisper back to that roaring temptation, “No.”
Count the moments when you:
Closed the laptop even though everything in you wanted to keep going.
Chose to go for a walk or hit the gym instead of giving in.
Walked away from the edge of relapse, even if it left you exhausted for the rest of the day.
Decided not to binge after a slip-up, choosing instead to get back on track.
These moments are where true freedom is born. They’re the ones that give you confidence to face the next battle and remind you that you are capable of overcoming this addiction.
Redefining Success
Freedom from porn isn’t about hitting a certain number of days. It’s about experiencing the joy and peace that come from living without it. Every “no” you say to temptation brings you closer to that life. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about progress.
So, let’s stop fixating on how many days we’ve gone without porn. Let’s focus on the moments that truly matter—the moments that make us stronger and remind us of our resilience. These are the moments that build a life of freedom, one choice at a time.
Remember, it only takes one moment to change the trajectory of your recovery.
Keep fighting the good fight. You’ve got this.
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